We can only imagine the circumstances that led to this sad display on Francisco Street near Olympic & Figueroa. I have a terrible feeling that it somehow involved some crazed humping.


We can only imagine the circumstances that led to this sad display on Francisco Street near Olympic & Figueroa. I have a terrible feeling that it somehow involved some crazed humping.


Well, it’s been my home for nearly a decade, so I feel kind of like a dick complaining. Let me get this out of the way first: I do like it here. I’ve made some amazing friends. I enjoy convenient access to first-run independent movies. The history, the cultural diversity, all that shit. Very unique of course. I have an appropriate level of respect for those things. As the years have gone by, though, I’ve grown less and less (and less) enthusiastic.
Luis was born and raised here in Hollywood, CA, and he seems to take my criticism of his hometown more than a little personally. Andrea and Van spent most of their childhoods on the West and East sides, respectively, and neither of them seem to relate to the hate either (will I ever be able to convince them?).
My dad takes it too far in the other direction. Whenever he does begrudgingly brave our city limits, he spends most the time with his beard contorted into a scowl. The traffic and smog and strip malls and flashy shallowness are an affront to his French, hippy-dippy sensibilities.
Hey, you know, I can dig it. But he doesn’t have to be such a pain about it.
Enough of this, let me just dig in right away for my first swipe at L.A. obnoxiousness:
Hey guys! You know this recession we’re in? Well, just in time for the record unemployment rates, Downtown is putting the finishing touches on a building that promises some modern low-income residences for all of its newly jobless:

Behold the new Ritz-Carlton Residences at L.A. Live! So modest and unpretentious and appropriate! So totally not an eyesore!
Congratulations, Downtown! You are now home to the world’s largest glass dildo. We should all be very proud.

That was very therapeutic. My next post might be about another dreadful construction site downtown, but I’ll try to mix it up a little. Thanks for reading.